Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Semi-annual Haircut

So it's spring. Or...almost summer.

I hear.

Somewhere it is.

So since it's almost summer when it usually gets hot and things grow and the sun beats down on us and makes us sweaty and in need of an iced least that's what I remember summer being like. I haven't actually experienced it in awhile....

If it's summer it's time for me to play at being a barber.

Not my favorite job.

Not the kids favorite time either. Since we are mutually agreed that it isn't our favorite pastime, we practice avoidance techniques for a while. The boys run and hide. I stay busy baking cookies. We procrastinate until the hair just can't be ignored anymore.

The boys say the last hair cut they got was for Christmas. I'm pretty sure I trimmed around their ears before Easter too.

But yeah, that's about it for the winter haircuts.

The first time I gave a male person a haircut was right after I became betrothed to be a wife. At the time I didn't know that as soon as you become engaged you start giving haircuts and patching blue jeans. But that's how it works, donchaknow.

So for thirty years I've been cutting hair for one husband, five sons and occasionally two daughters. And my brother once.

When the boys got big enough to have money in their wallets they defected and found a real barbershop. When they found out how much that cost they started cutting their own and each other's hair. I tried not to be insulted.

But really, it was nice to not have to hear their whining any more.

Haircuts really are an issue around here. I'm not sure why. There's all the squirming and crying and carrying-on that drives me crazy. Then there's the dull scissors that pluck the hair out instead of trimming it and the electric clippers that chew the hair instead of cutting it. Boys become mushy cowards when it's time for a hair cut around here.

But when the birds start nesting, it's just time.

After I dragged the boys out from under the bed, they had to decide who would be first. This time they were more civilized about it than usual. They played Hunter, Maiden, Bear.

Have you heard of it? It's like Rock, Paper, Scissors. The Bear eats the Maiden, the Hunter shoots the Bear and the Maiden...uh...the Maiden uses her kryptonite to disable the Hunter.

This is the Maiden displaying her girlish charms.

Since it had stopped raining for a minute, we took the barbershop outside.


We got 'er done.

We should be good until Christmas.


  1. This brings back memories, we always gave our boys buzz cuts every spring, sometimes just all year long! They never minded. My mom was the one who did it. She still does most of them. I'll never forget the first time, my husband took the 2 older ones(about 2 and 4 yrs old) to her house to get haircuts and I stayed home with the youngest(8mos old)...when they got back, the younger one ran in...buzzed, then the oldest one ran in...buzzed, then the husband walked in...yeah...buzzed! So the next day we did the baby. At 8 months he had a lot of hair!

  2. That's funny!
    Yes, lots of buzz cuts around here but I prefer something a bit longer and styled. The boys won't sit for it and as the big guys have become adults they just prefer to buzz their heads. I don't get it. I'm a child of the 70's and like long hair! (even on a baby!)

  3. Oh man...this made me laugh. Especially the part about scissors plucking and clippers chewing. Perfectly describes the agony of a childhood haircut. Pair those dull folical trimmers with some little boy rat nest of hair, and it's a recipe for a whine fest. I can see why you hate it.

    Also, sorry for many years of whine.

    In regards to hair- I loved my hair. I loved my long hair, I loved my mohawk, I loved having lots of hair and I took good care of it when I lived in Tahoe. I only shave my head now because it is all falling out (damn you, Male Pattern Baldness!). There is not much, as far as I can see, that I can do about it. So now I just shave it so I won't look like That Guy that is trying desperately to keep a few wispy locks up top. And I'm not sure I can do the "Dad cut," just yet (you know- the one with the ring of hair around the sides and back of the head and bald skin on top). I might just have to get hitched to a lady-friend before I can let myself go like that.

  4. See my grown son? See my grown son apologize for being a whiner boy?

    Young moms---I hope that gives you hope for the future! Keep the faith!

  5. This is so funny! It did occur to me that the dull scissors and clippers COULD be the cause of the whining... but... naaaah.

    I'm currently contemplating Jonah's first buzz. Not sure if I have the guts. Maybe. We'll see.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.